


Unsent Letters

by truehumandisaster



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3287306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truehumandisaster/pseuds/truehumandisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of letters, crumpled and thrown away, from Charles Xavier to Erik Lehnsherr through the years</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unsent Letters

To: Erik Lehnsherr  
When: April 11, 1963

 

Hank caught me writing the first three drafts of this letter. He's convinced I'm mad, and perhaps I am. I always knew you were on the cusp, but the last time we met, you fell entirely over the edge. Even still, I could not sacrifice you. You deemed me weak for my lack of attempt, but if we had to face each other again knowing what we know, I would still be unable to do so.

I suppose I wanted you to know that I forgive you. Without you, I wouldn’t have opened my home to mutants. I always saw myself teaching university level students, but I must admit, I’m quite enjoying myself here. Just last week, I met a young woman who could encourage plants to grow fast and high. The week before, I spoke to a boy who could phase through walls. It’s extraordinary, Erik – all these individuals, able to learn without fear of who they are. This is the future we should aim for.

I hope you realize that. I hope Raven realizes that.

Truly I believe it would be easier to hate you, and some days, when I trick myself for a moment that I moved my legs, I almost do. I hate what you’ve done and what I know you shall do. I hate how you seduced Raven away with words and how you almost did the same with me. I hate how quick I am to forgive you, to see you smile once more. I hate how I cannot seem to fully hate you at all, my friend. I keep waiting for it to happen, but if you are the virus others accuse you of being, then you have already been introduced to my system. 

 

I expect this will be the only time I write.

Charles 

 

* * *

 

 

To: Erik Lehnsherr  
When: October 25, 1971

 

It’s all crumbling. The halls of my beautiful school are growing emptier and emptier, and I fear that soon, only Hank and I shall remain. When did everything go so terribly wrong? Now it is I who must ask your forgiveness, Erik. With lack of any other outlet, I turned to my liquor cabinet last night. I went through an entire bottle alone, cradling it to my chest as if it was ~~you~~ a treasure to be kept safe. I promise it will be the only time I do so. For heaven’s sake, I’m a professor, and so long as I have students, I will continue to be so.

I know you expect me to condemn you for what you did to JFK, but I do not have the emotional capacity to deal with such an old issue currently. You’re locked away somewhere I cannot reach, and if this letter does find its way toward you, I do not want you to throw it away due to me scorning you. You will pay for your crimes, but I assume you already know that.

What you do not know is that we could have used you, my friend. Imagine if you hadn’t gone down your path. You could be beside me now, and we would be working together as we once had. More than ever, the world needs us united. The war plucks my children away from me too early, only for me to never hear from them again. I find myself wishing for a great many things, but perhaps most of all and most selfishly, I wish for a day when we can put aside our differences and simply be two old friends once more.

You have never ceased to be my greatest inspiration and my worst fear.

 

Charles

 

* * *

 

 

To: Erik Lehnsherr  
When: July 3, 1972

 

I broke my promise. Again and again, I broke my promise, burning my throat with the thrill of alcohol in an attempt to remind myself I can feel anything at all. The school is officially closed, and we lay as forgotten as monuments buried under an ocean of sand. Why did no one warn me? Why did no one warn me that darkness reaches any place fast than light, that people will flock to revenge instead of peace, that _you_ would be the one to stand in front of crowds of mutants? They flock to you so readily and as eager as I once had been for your smile of approval. It pains me to think of. You pain me to think of. You took them all, Erik, and I am left abandoned and forgotten. Most days, even Hank refuses to meet my gaze.

How could you? We both waste away in prison cells, but of the two of us, I hope you rot.

 

Goodbye, Erik.

 

* * *

 

 

 

To: Erik Lehnsherr  
When:  November 30, 1979

For the first time in a long time, I missed you today. It hit me silently and was entirely unexpected. I sat in my office, and one of my students was discussing the biological advances of the insect. I happened to glance outside the window, and the ongoing storm whipped up a fury of leaves. For some reason, it drew my thoughts to times long ago – to times I hadn’t dared to think of in years.

I have yet to meet my match in chess, but today, I brought out the board to teach a few students the art of the game. They claim I cheat, and I seem to remember you claiming the same on several occasions. I’m still not certain whether it is a gift or a curse for time to erase the pain of our memories, but I can no longer think of the cruel things you did without a whisper reminding me of these occurrences.

They ask me about you sometimes. Of course, they refer to you only as Magneto, but I find myself always separating the man from the mask. You may deny it, but I’ve glimpsed the good in you, and in the end, the smallest light can vanquish the dark. I like to imagine that one day the same will occur in you, and you will realize the reason you lack such conviction in your plots is because you know that you cannot stamp out oppression with oppression.

 

My thoughts are with you,

Charles

 

* * *

 

 

To: Erik Lehnsherr  
When: September 21, 1982

 

We are alive during an incredible time, my old friend. Just this year, more than 500,000 individuals flocked to New York to protest the usage of nuclear bombs. Today, we celebrated the first International Day of Peace. I know you roll your eyes at such a gesture, but I hope, should this letter find you, you will still the hate you carry for just a moment and smile at the attempts human beings go through. This letter is not to argue philosophies once more; it is a reminder that there is still good in the world, and it is entirely worth defending. 

You are an extraordinary being, Erik. I do not want you to think I’ve ever forgotten that. When I reflect upon our many years together, I do not forget the good you’ve done either — or how far you yourself have come. I only wish we could have gone on a path that intersected on more of these good points than on the bad. It is exhausting fighting a man I would, in any other universe, defend with my life.

My students frequently ask of the outside world, and while I have never said this (to you or to them), I have increasingly become concerned of the correct answer. I realize what humans are capable of, and while I know the cause for their actions, how do I explain the disgust and hatred they feel to a group of children who have experienced it from their own families? I am so tired, Erik. I feel it in my very bones already. I have not given up hope, but gripping onto the wide-eyed viewpoints we held as young men is…difficult. I do not suspect I will live long enough to experience the world I strive for, but I hope that you may experience it. You deserve peace, even if you have never wanted to accept it. 

 

Until next time,

Charles

 

* * *

 

 

To: Erik Lehnsherr   
When: April 30, 1986

 

We need to talk. These attacks are getting out of hand, and I have no idea what to think. I don’t want to believe the worst, but you’re forcing me to. What did you hope to accomplish with Chernobyl? What do you hope to accomplish with anything? I can’t continue our correspondence any further so long as you continue along this path.

~~I will miss our~~

I don’t want to be your enemy, but so long as you are there to wreak havoc on humans, I will be there to stop you.

 

Charles

 

* * *

 

 

To: Erik Lehnsherr  
When: December 24, 1990

 

Come home. 

 

Charles

 

 


End file.
